Can we be friends?

Do you have a close friend? Someone who inspires you, treats you well, loves you, and speaks up when you need to hear the truth.

As I write, one particular person comes to mind. We have walked life together. Sometimes side by side, sometimes with miles of distance between us. We are friends, I have known her all my life and she is amazing.
I admire the way she parents, the way she loves, the way she interacts, and how her smile always seems real. I haven’t always treated her with the respect she deserves, and yet I experience unconditional love from this woman.

As children we were inseparable; creative, joyful and inspired by life. This connection remained into young adulthood, before I began to push her away. I became embarrassed by some of her eccentricities. I didn’t know how to bring her into some groups of friends and didn’t always trust I could introduce her to people.

Life, and my understanding of trust began to shift.

We reconnected in our twenties, had incredible adventures, and strengthened our friendship. Beauty reunited, friendship rekindled, so joyful. When I got married she was there, helped me plan and write my wedding, sharing dreams and goals.

A couple of years later I had my twins; two babes, beautiful, blessings, and exhausting. I began to drift away again. I used the excuses of time, sleep, and new family. The reality was I wasn’t choosing her. She reminded me of life…before marriage, family, kids. I didn’t know how to bridge my ‘old life’ with the new, so I stopped reaching out. I stopped taking her calls.

Life continued. I love my children, and the life I was creating, but in many moments I felt numb, busy and empty. I knew she would be able to offer me advice and support, but I couldn’t bring myself to say hello.

A couple of years passed, I called her. She answered. The call changed my life. I have never looked back. No more taking her for granted. I call on her for everything, I trust her completely. She’s beautiful, and so unique. I am so thankful my kids know her and love her. I now understand why I love her. We struggle, I don’t always listen, she doesn’t always feel I am present or listening to her guidance but I am not going anywhere, neither is she.

I have this friend. She is amazing. She is Me.
Pause.

Yep, I’m talking about myself. Go ahead and have an eye roll if necessary. I did, before I started to write. My ego kicked into high gear with statements like; ‘who are you to write this, no one wants to hear your love story with yourself’. The usual ego statements trying to keep us silent and safe.

Instead, I kept writing and I ask you to keep reading.

Because,

This best friend is You. Your voice, Your instinct, Your intuition, Your authentic and greater Self.

Perhaps, as you look back at moments and situations in life, and recognize following the lead of your internal guidance, and other moments you recall pushing the mute button on your voice.

It’s okay. Those were beautiful opportunities to know the difference. To see ourself and develop Trust.

We all experience, and often need, these moments of clarity. These moments and choices strengthen Our Voice and our own understanding of listening to our innate wisdom.

You are always present. She is always present; patient, loving and true. Amidst the chaos of life, You are there willing to cheer yourself on, or offer guidance. Guidance, which is directed at calling your unique self to the surface. Love and You.

So, I started listening to my best friend again. Me. Patiently and slowly, recognizing the voice of love for myself and how to act on healthy paths which recognize passions in my existence; such as family, friends, personal creativity. Avenues where I wasn’t pushing my own mute button.

Today, I definitely walk around talking to myself (internally and externally) because I am hilarious, creative, fun and give excellent advice. Also, as I actively tap back into myself. I invite in new opportunities and people; soul sisters, wider moments of creativity, and a willingness to appreciate details of life. I see life through my eyes, the eyes of the person who loves being Me.

I ask you; Go now.

Stand in front of a mirror. Look at the incredible woman starring back and say; ‘Hi. I love you. Can we be friends.’

Engage in the friendship of one who wants to guide your life lovingly. You.

p.s. Great practice for anyone; men, women, children!
I see your light. Thank you for being here.

~ Emily.